Last week the first full face transplant in the U. S. occurred at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston. Once again, science fiction has become science fact, due to the miracles of modern medicine. But, besides the awesomeness of this successful experiment that can only be compared to the one time I dreamed about the bipolar nature of ninja zombies, one other thing struck me.
This face transplant (and four future face transplants) was funded by no other than the U. S. Department of Defense. Now, at first glance this sounds fine if you think that soldiers on the battlefield who have been blown up may one day come home to a fresh face and a new life.
Future face transplants will be based upon current, emerging technology.
But, the conspiracy theorist in me says different. Why would first line soldiers who have trouble getting a new foot from the VA be getting a new million dollar face? My vivid imagination says that this future medical technology may be reserved for high level spies and even heads of state in hiding.
According to The Beatles, Eleanor Rigby, “Waits at the window, wearing a face that she keeps in a jar by the door. Who is it for?” This may just be a metaphor, but we all know how medical science can be hijacked and used for less than puritanical purposes. LSD experiments on soldiers, anyone? Who is that for?
Google recently filed a facial recognition patent so that basically a person can take your picture in public, then make the link to your Facebook profile and find out all sorts of details about you. So much for being anonymous to strangers in public.
Anonymity is important to many people. This is what has driven the Internet for year and why uses of avatars and personas are so prevalent. Future face transplants may fulfill this need for anonymity.
But, this is not what I personally fear. What I fear is the future butt recognition software that is now being developed in the deep recesses of the Microsoft labs. You see once a year I like to hop on my motorcycle and drive out the Burning Man wearing my ass-less chaps. What I seek is a certain amount of anonymity and no tell-tail connections to my Facebook page.
And also, the next time I happen to be sitting on the office photocopy machine making copies of my butt I don’t want to be recognized by some crack head with a cell phone. Is this too much to ask?
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